Branded lazy parents for not coercing

Mark Slagle

From the archives: Posted on

A poster wrote:

“My question is simple: How does one get past the idea that non-coercive parenting is just lazy parenting, and that if I weren’t so lazy, I would enforce things like bedtime, eating vegetables, and all of that?”

It strikes me that the lazy person’s approach to parenting is the tactic of throwing one’s adult weight around to coerce a reluctant compliance, as opposed to the far more difficult challenge of trying to see to it that all parties are satisfied with the outcome of every interaction. Helping children to get what they want is far more difficult that forcing children to accept what the parent wants.

“Our society tends to equate non-coercion with child neglect.”

Our society has the curious tendency to toss large stones around in its glass house. Our society would seem to have it backwards.

Mark Slagle, 1995, ‘Branded lazy parents for not coercing’,