The paradigm shift
Taking Children Seriously is one of those types of knowledge that cannot be taken back—once understood, it constitutes a true paradigm shift within the individual mind.
by Mary Schultz
How parents’ view of coercion progresses when engaging with the idea of taking children seriously
Focusing on the coercion of others may seem easier than focusing on our own, but it can be about not wanting to correct our own.
The language of parental power plays
Saying “Sand is not for throwing” is a euphemism for “I have made the rule that you may not throw sand, and I am going to enforce it.” This euphemistic construction is ubiquitous: “Food is not for throwing” (“I have made the rule that you may not throw food, and I am going to enforce it.”); “Hitting is not appropriate,” (“I have made the rule that you may not hit, and I am going to enforce it.”).
Genuinely protecting children versus coercing them
Children’s lives are their own, and they are far more competent than many parents think they are.
Expressing approval vs expressing appreciation
Expressions of approval are inherently manipulative the approval is designed to manipulate the child into meeting your own standard.
The parental ideology of tidiness
Parents are always saying, “It would just be easier to do it myself.” But then they don’t “do it themselves”. They don’t do it themselves because they feel an obligation to instil a moral lesson in their kids, namely, that they should keep things up to a certain standard (usually the parents’ unnegotiated standard).