What some people call 'bad behaviour' in a toddler...

My 2.5yr old sometimes hits, pushes and throws - what ought I to do about it?My 2.5yr hold is normally a very pleasant toddler, very peaceful and calm and non-confrontational. But occassionally she throws things, and sometimes they're heavy things that could do some damage, for no particular reason as well as when she's angry. If we ask her not to do something (and we don't often do so!), she sometimes hits us. When she's going through a bad patch this happens more and more often and quite often includes pushing her baby sister over, or hitting her. She's not a hard work toddler, and I expect the occassional meltdown when life doesn't make sense, and respect her needs as much as I possibly can (she's still breastfed, sleeps in our bed, isn't forced to do anything she doesn't want to do) but I'm finding this unpleasant behaviour very hard to deal with - in fact I haven't a clue how to deal with it! My instant reaction is to snap, or say 'no' very firmly (although ideally we try not to say 'no' to her!) - it makes me very angry to see her hit/throw/push - but I'm very aware that it's probably not the best course of action. I'd very, very much appreciate some guidance or suggestions or anything!

Many thanks


communication. Show,

communication. Show, explain WHY you don't like behavior. Show hole in wall, sad baby, hurt on your arm, say "owie", show her that your sad. ask and LISTEN to why she wants to do it, find a way to make you both happy. She may have some good ideas. Show her positive ways to react. React possitivly to your frustration so she can see what it looks like (you reacting sounds like her reacting except for you "follow" more rules, like don't hit). Showing "gentle" and gently touching the baby/animal always worked for us. Not that there never were outbursts, but child was easily reminded of nice ways to interact with baby/animal. Empathize with her frustration. FIND a way to relieve it. Appologize. Throw things for fun, experiment.


We do the same thing - if a toddler hits, remind her "gentle" and gently strokes the place that she hit.

I think a lot of toddler behavior can be better channelled once you figure out the reasons for it. A lot of the hitting could be either in retaliation for something done to toddler, or just to get the attention of the person.So reminding to deal with it gently is usually enough, and I'm guessing before long she won't need many reminders .....

Same for throwing - I would say "we don't throw toys" (because the rest of us mostly don't) and if a ball or balloon or anything throwable was handy I would give her that instead.