Taking Children Seriously

This piece by Elliot may help some understand TCS ideas about coercion and solving problems.

To ensure that your child loves visiting the dentist, read this!

Mary Ann points out that if a friend knocked over a cup, we would help clean it up, so why not do so for our children too?

Sue Cvach has some advice for parents whose young children seem to be lashing out against their siblings.

Do not assume that a child is acting irrationally just because he or she wants to go to school.

Sometimes it helps to step back and get things in perspective.

An argument about children's legal rights, addressing the issue of how children might be protected under the law even if their legal rights were the same as adults'.

If so, this might help.

TCS parents do not force their children to study. They do not try to manipulate them into it. They do not push them. They do pay attention to what seems to interest their children and facilitate their exploration in that sphere, and in any related spheres the parent thinks the children might find interesting. But if children are not pushed, how could they ever become, say, a mathematician? What would this process look like? David Deutsch paints a word picture that may help.

Why I always shudder when I hear such questions.

Many parents worry that eating a lot of junk food might lead to ill-health. Elliot's post may set some minds at rest.

It is often asserted (usually by school teachers) that if children are not forced to go to school or, at the very least, to study an externally-imposed curriculum, there will be big gaps in their knowledge at the end of their education. Is this true? Is it any less true of children subjected to a standard curriculum? Is it a problem? And if so, which children will be better able to fill any gaps later: those who have been subject to a curriculum, or those who haven't? Mike Fortune-Wood has the answers.

Don't be misled by the title. This discussion is not just about what to do in a case where a child heates wearing an eyepatch, it is about how to think about problems in such a way that you can solve them.

Correcting a few common misconceptions about TCS.

It would be nice to be able to be perfect. Unfortunately, we're human, and we have to do the best we can now, not wait.

In the often-tense period before Christmas many parents are especially likely to tell their children that if they don't go to sleep promptly Santa Claus will not bring them any presents. Or that he will bring them only a lump of coal.

Why freedom in the matter of academic study is inseparable from freedom in the matter of chores, bedtime and everything else.

Tom Robinson has a satirical ‘warning’ about TV and books. Essential reading for all except those who don't appreciate satire.

Suppose that somebody told you that if you were exposed to a particular pattern of flickering, coloured lights it would cause you later to take unwise or immoral actions without being able to control yourself. You might well be sceptical. After all, how a person responds to a pattern of flickering light is dependent on their interpretation of that light.

Alan Forrester investigates.

Video games are not about any obvious direct product. They are about interacting with a complex autonomous entity.

Pro-active parenting is about building plentiful creative systems for growth, not just not-preventing kids from accessing such systems as there happen to be by coincidence already.

There are many situations in which it is right to lie. But it is wrong to mislead children about their parents' real values and beliefs. It is wrong to mislead them about right and wrong.

When a toddler hits a parent, should the parent communicate their honest reaction, whether it be showing hurt if they've been hurt, or any emotional response, such as feeling anger, or sadness?

Surprisingly, you might think, the answer is yes.

These days, we all have lots and lots more stuff than we ever had before.

When your child's room is such a mess there is only a rumor of a floor.

David Deutsch is very untidy and very successful.

Why does the combination of children and medicine often go so horribly wrong?

The subtext of the ideas presented through soap operas gives a very powerful access to the themes of our culture.

This is a slightly modified version of a 17 May, 2000 Debate List post.

Sarah Fitz-Claridge

In discussions about TCS, people sometimes leap to the conclusion that TCS involves children being left to run riot in other people's houses, destroying family heirlooms and generally distressing everyone they come into contact with. Of course that is not TCS but permissive, uninvolved parenting. But for those who are unfamiliar with TCS, perhaps it is worth saying something about this again.

In such discussions, someone usually asserts that children must be forced to obey the rules of the house they are visiting:

The fact is that when I stay at somone's house, I defer to a reasonable extent to their rules and wishes

When I go to other people's houses, I try to abide by their wishes in respect of their property and so on. I try to make my visit add to their lives rather than detract from them. I try to be sensitive and (to the extent that I think they will want this) helpful in a non-intrusive way. I avoid violating their privacy, and I try not to...