What some people call 'bad behaviour' in a toddler...

My 2.5yr old sometimes hits, pushes and throws - what ought I to do about it?My 2.5yr hold is normally a very pleasant toddler, very peaceful and calm and non-confrontational. But occassionally she throws things, and sometimes they're heavy things that could do some damage, for no particular reason as well as when she's angry. If we ask her not to do something (and we don't often do so!), she sometimes hits us. When she's going through a bad patch this happens more and more often and quite often includes pushing her baby sister over, or hitting her. She's not a hard work toddler, and I expect the occassional meltdown when life doesn't make sense, and respect her needs as much as I possibly can (she's still breastfed, sleeps in our bed, isn't forced to do anything she doesn't want to do) but I'm finding this unpleasant behaviour very hard to deal with - in fact I haven't a clue how to deal with it! My instant reaction is to snap, or say 'no' very firmly (although ideally we try not to say 'no' to her!) - it makes me very angry to see her hit/throw/push - but I'm very aware that it's probably not the best course of action. I'd very, very much appreciate some guidance or suggestions or anything!

Many thanks

Clare

throwing things

If she is throwing things, hitting and pushing when angry, then help her do that safely. Cushions to punch, a garden to run around shouting "I'm frustrated" in, even just a parent saying "I understand that you are angry" might help her start to express what she is wanting/needing and failing to get.

If she's hitting and pushing to find out what happens, find inanimate things which don't mind being hit or pushed. Wrestling matches with parents might be a good alternative?

If she's wanting to throw for fun, find fun things to throw. Balls, obviously. Rice is easy to vacuum up later. Throw bricks into a sandpit. Throw things into a paddling pool full of water. Throw apples and then watch the bruises develop. Have who can throw furthest competitions. THrow sticks for dogs to bring back.

Food throwing may mean she is bored of the meal. Try putting her food on a coffee table or a tray on the floor, and let her graze instead of insisting on sitting together for a meal. Or make sure there are lots of other activities (which wipe clean!) on the table at meal times.

HTH.