My mother and I don't seem to know how to team up and help each other with our problems, and I find that very much a problem. I just basically want to know how we can be two pieces of the same puzzle, her understanding my situation in life and changing for me, and me being able to help her with her obstacles, and myself growing as a person. Hi. I'm seventeen, currently attending high-school. I have a few questions, and I was wondering if TCS could spare some advice.
(Just some backround) I tend to be a very negative person, and I often feel a lot of jealous and posessive feelings toward my girlfriend. I tend to be happy in social situations, but when it's just me, my mind wanders a lot. These past couple years I've had a hard time falling asleep at the right time, and I tend to feel as if doing anything physical that is a chore or task just plain arduous. I don't have any motivation really to do any of the things I wish to do, or have to do. My mother is a good woman, but she suffers from the same lack of motivation and optimism that I do. She's an alcholic that tends to fall off the wagon a lot, and it's hard to deal with her when she's drunk. Especially because she can become violent, and the situations she puts herself in and also puts me in can escalate, never to extreme conditions, and I don't hit my mother. The situation seems to be looked at as my fault, and my mother just constantly rants to people, saying that I abuse her when she's drunk, but doesn't even remember the events that happened (she blacks out a lot). I'm seventeen; I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I know my mom has as well. But I cannot help her with her addictions, and I myself have started smoking again. My mother and I don't seem to know how to team up and help each other with our problems, and I find that very much a problem. I just basically want to know how we can be two pieces of the same puzzle, her understanding my situation in life and changing for me, and me being able to help her with her obstacles, and myself growing as a person. Another thing I wanted to ask about was a parenting situation. I am not a parent, and I don't plan on having children until I'm married and finanically stable, but while I'm not at that point, I would like to build up a kind of model of how to raise my child(ren) so that he/she/they don't fall into the same cycle as the parents that have preceeded them. Anyway, I want to know, how can you teach your children without saying to them "Well if you don't do this, then this will happen." Giving them ultimatim. Like, as a child, I was never really put into the routine of washing my face and brushing and flossing on a normal basis. So now I struggle with trying to add structure to my basic hygeine routine. I want my children to learn that by brushing their teeth and scrubbing their face can have a multitude of benefits, and now I've just realized how stupid it is of a seventeen year old to be thinking about being a parent, heh. Do you think it's a stupid thought?