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Children Should Make Their Own Choices

The art of not letting your children do what you (the parents) think is wrong, is the opposite of taking them seriously.

(That and the theory that being hurt is natural or unavoidable.)

Another way to put this is:

1) stop hurting/coercing each other
2) and stop using coercion to control children to make them do what you (the parents) think is right

Parents can be wrong! We should want our children to have better ideas than we do, not the same ones.

‹ "discipline" theories compatible w/ tcs What some people call 'bad behaviour' in a toddler... ›

If one kid's beating up on another...

If one kid's beating up on another you let them do that??

  • By a TCS reader (not verified) at 2005/06/11 - 6:20pm
  • reply

Re: If one kid's beating up on another

My child is 18, in WWII, and beating up a Nazi child (also 18). He is beating him up using bullets. So, yes, I let him. In fact, I cheer him on.

What about a situation where, *on the face of it*, the child is doing something immoral. Well, help him do something better.

What about the case where, additionally, the child rejects that help?

1) It depends on why the child is doing it, why he thinks it's a good thing to do, etc. There are infinite ways to be wrong, and you've given no hints at which way you think this child is wrong, so I can't give any hints at how to help him correct his error.

2) The parent could be the one making an error. The parent should adopt a strategy so that if he is in error, his error stands a chance of being corrected.

  • By Elliot Temple at 2005/06/13 - 1:05am
  • reply

My child likes to run in

My child likes to run in front of speeding cars. Should I let him do that?

  • By a reader (not verified) at 2006/10/06 - 9:07pm
  • reply

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