My son is 14. He has a 12 year old brother and i am a single parent. I am finding it hard to bond with my eldest, because he has decided that he is 'man of the house'. For the past 2 years, he has found it difficult to cope with his father becoming a transexual and then he came out as gay at school. When ever we argue, he ends up shoving me across the room, swearing and punching me!

I know he needs something to do to let off steam, but he does not want to do ANYTHING he just goes on his laptop when he gets in from school. I have asked him if he wants to do judo or swimming etc, but he just shouts, throws his fists around and slams his bedroom door. His younger brother usually tries to pull him away from me, but he ends up hurt.

What i need is advice on how to calm the situation, before it gets to the stage where he becomes violent. He has been to counselling, but he now refuses to go and apart from dragging him down the road (he is far too strong for me) his brother and i just tiptoe around him, trying not to upset him (which is hard, because anything sets him off!!) Life is almost unbearable, my family live 300 miles away and i dont socialise at all, because i live in a bad estate and i am practically a recluse. Does anyone have any suggestions??