Taking Children Seriously

One of the main tenets of TCS is giving people freedom to do what they like when they like; I realize that TSC is a complex philosophy, so forgive my clumsiness if that's an oversimplification.

I grew up in a permissive environment. If I wanted to eat mashed potatoes for breakfast, or wear my elf costume to school, my parents let me. If I signed up for ballet or ice skating or horseback riding, and then grew bored, or had a conflict with my instructor, I quit. If I didn't want to do my homework or clean my room I didn't. In high school I missed 16 days one quarter, because I didn't feel like going. I didn't have a curfew, or restrictions about movies, sex or parties. I'm sure you get the idea, I want to keep this short.

But today, as an adult I'm pretty irresponsible. I have a very difficult time initiating action, and I give up quickly. Even things I want to do, like keep the house clean, or eat healthy foods, I don't do consistently, even though I feel much happier when I do them. I live for the moment, and can't be bothered to work for a goal, or delay gratification. A hypothetical example: even though I want the garbage men to take my trash away, if I don't feel like setting it out by the curb, I don't. Then later I feel sad and frustrated that I didn't do it, and my quality of life and happiness suffer.

Just wondering what your thoughts are.

A few important articles to get you started.

OMG im a tipical 13 yo gurl frm a tipical small skool and im BORED!! im always tired b/c they pound crap into our heads w/ hammers and nails then glue us back together! if they would do more visual things, i would learn more and we would have more fun! skool shuld b fun...were kids!! theres only 1 time u get to b a kid and there wasting it on crappin skool!!

i play sports ok? i wake up @ 630...go to skool till 4....@ 430 i have bball practice or cheerleading practice or track practice or cross country training or games or tennis practice or other crap like that! sumtimes i dont get home till almost midnight frm crap and then on top of that i still have all the boring crappin hw that all the teachers pile on till were drownin in it and crap so then im up till like 1 or 2!!then sumtimes on test nites i have to pull allnighters!! and im pretty smart, and crap but not a nerd.... but im always tired frm staying up so late!!! then every other day i have quizes and pop tests and vocabulary in 2 classes and then i have history and all the other crap everyone else has cept im glad this year i dont have to take frickin spanish!!!!

gah teachers should give us less hw or just fun hw!! i heard of a teacher one time that gave VIEDEO GAMES 4 hw!! i wish more teachers were like that!!!!! im getting a headache frm all this crap.

Why you should think twice before praising a particular LEA (local education authority).

More discussion with a radical unschooler on the subject of education and coercion.

Parents often fear that a child might make the wrong decisions about what to learn.

A charming story for everyone who has a bed-making issue.

Misunderstandings and miscommunication are common occurrences, so it is wise not to jump to negative conclusions.

This piece by Elliot may help some understand TCS ideas about coercion and solving problems.

The implication of saying that there are things children must learn to study is that the children may not want to learn them, because they won't know that they are valuable until later. But if you can't enumerate them all, then how do you know, when you are forcing your children to do one of them, that you are not preventing your children from doing another? Also, if you can't enumerate them all, how do you think the children are going to learn the ones you are unable to enumerate? In fact, I believe that not only can you not enumerate them all, but you can't KNOW them all, that you can't even know a millionth part of them.

The criticism sometimes levelled at TCS parents, that they must be doormats, is in terms of education actually more appropriate when applied to conventional parents.